Friday, 19 August 2016

Category The Bad: Barcelona in August



10 Reasons to hate Barcelona in August


Landed in Barcelona for your August getaway? 
One piece of advice, get out!

Why? Let me count the (10) ways I hate Barcelona in August;

  1. Heat and humidity, and what it does to people. August is the hottest month of the year, so most sensible people will leave the city and head for some coastal resort with a soothing sea breeze. Those staying behind, do so at their own peril.
  2. Clerks and waiters in heat. People tend to get irate in the heat, and none less so than those bitter and resentful for being made to work in August. You will meet plenty of these poor souls when trying to order a beer or when doing some necessary shopping.
  3. Joggers in the streets. What are you thinking you masochistic lunatic?!
  4. Closed for vacation. Trying to find anything slightly out of the ordinary in August, and you’ll spend half-a-day running from closed signs to closed signs
  5. Corte Inglés. In desperation you end up in Corte Inglés trying to find that slightly out of the ordinary thing, which they eventually will not have, and you waste another hour going up and down escalators becoming increasingly agitated because people in Barcelona are oblivious to the concept “walk on the left, stand on the right”!
  6. People who are oblivious to the concept of “walk on the left, stand on the right”!
  7. Overfilled subway, bus, tram, beach, whatever! Barcelona fills up like a rush-hour subway car in Tokyo in August, and any kind of public transport can quickly turn into some kind of 21st century version of a Medieval torture chamber. The beach. I won’t even go there… No, seriously, don’t go there!
  8. Tourists. Let me get one thing straight, I am not among those locals (mainly because I am not one of them) who immediately puts on a sour face and loudly complains that the street is filled with individuals who are not 11th generation Catalan, when the summer hoards arrive. Yet I can’t help grumble each time I’m trying to find a seat at my favourite hang-outs, and they're either closed, so as not to deal with tourists, or they are filled with coconut smelling individuals who really should be somewhere else listening to Keisha.  Or, when a gang of half-naked Italians are sweating over the seats designated for the elderly and the handicapped on the bus.
  9. “Tourists go home” signs. Yes, it is a nuisance with too many tourists at once and not all of them being on their best behavior, but running around posting those signs just make you look like a Xenophobic a-hole.
  10.  Parties everywhere. Go home! It’s getting late. I am old.

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